As a white person, I find it triggering to talk about race, especially in a public forum. For a long time I was told it was un-PC and that I just shouldn’t mention it. I could see why. I felt it was bound to get me into trouble. If I showed sympathy to people of colour, black people in particular, for the oppression that they have been / are being subjected to, I feared it would appear patronising and presumptuous (they might be doing just fine). If I claimed not to be racist I feared I’d be accused of ignorance, or worse, tarnished with the brush of white privilege.
I have these same fears today : of being misunderstood, unfairly labelled and rejected. But I know I must speak my truth, despite the resistance I’ve been feeling to sharing this. I’ve been writing, editing, and re-writing this post for three weeks. It’s a complex, thought and emotion-provoking topic, race.
I have a strong opinion on the subject of the recent Black Lives Matter media and societal trend, and, as per usual, it’s not the one I see that the majority hold. I started writing this fuelled by anger and my words reflected that. I have checked my ego many times while editing this, and by talking to my friends, observing the collective mood on social media, and contemplating my opinions, my intentions for sharing them, and my relationship with race and racism over my lifetime, and today. This post may trigger some people. All I can say is it is not my intention to offend or upset anyone and I’ve done my best to take my ego out of this and simply share my perspective. My intention is to share my truth, knowing that whoever reads it is meant to and that my voice is valid and deserves to be heard.
I have always been aware of racial prejudice existing on an individual and institutional level, and saw the obvious divisions this causes in society. I saw clear separation and economic disparity based on skin colour in the multi-cultural city of London where I grew up. This especially struck me every summer when I went to the Notting Hill Carnival, which is a twenty-minute walk from my family home. As a teenager, I walked every summer to join the parades and parties, passing by mansions worth many millions of pounds, inhabited by white people, some of them my school peers. It was pristinely clean and eerily quiet on those streets. I’d keep walking just a few minutes more and the scenery changed : big houses, looking more worn, divided up into flats, and ugly council estate buildings, often with groups of black kids sitting outside on the wall, blasting out rap music and clouded in a ganga smoke haze.
I felt a buzz walking down those streets, partly driven by fear. As a white person, and particularly as a white female, by the time I was a teenager I’d been programmed (through the media and by older generations) to fear ‘gangs’ of black men, though I tried my best to reject this program. When entering a black neighbourhood I tried to override my fear and walked casually and proudly past groups of black boys with my head high, smiling at them if I felt safe enough to do so. I didn’t want them to know I was afraid (but I was : my heart was pounding). I didn’t want them to think I was judging them, or that I viewed them as lesser than me. I genuinely didn’t. I held the belief since I was a child that we are all born equal. Though I knew that as a teenager, I had already been given many more opportunities for success than they had. Despite the anxiety I felt, I’d have loved to join them for a smoke and hang out listening to their music on the side of the street. I felt envious of their boldness to break social norms, speaking loudly and playing their music above an ‘acceptable’ level according to the etiquette I was accustomed to. They seemed so much more alive than the white people I knew, who I’d always seen as repressing their emotions and playing roles to suit the status quo. And yet I didn’t feel welcome in their group. And I didn’t feel safe. So I kept on walking.
Since I was young I tried to shun my white privilege. I didn’t like that I went to a 95% white, middle-class school. I felt embarrassed by my ‘posh’ accent and tried to change it, especially when hanging out with people not of the same upbringing. I remember asking my mum if I could move to a state school as I wanted to be ‘normal’. I befriended ‘people of colour’ (I hate this label) in my teens from neighbouring state schools and my first love was a dark brown boy with Tamil-Sri Lankan heritage. We were together for four years. He, though at a glance could have been mistaken as black, was scarred even more deeply than me with racial programming. He visibly put up his defences when we walked past groups of black boys our age and often made derogatory jokes about them in private, which I hated, and at first vigilantly defended, but after a while got I used to it I suppose. I understood that his hate came from fear and that his fear came from a historical social program.
Despite the fear that I felt sometimes around black boys / men, and a general feeling of alienation from the black community, I never believed I was racist. I thought racism meant to actively dislike or discriminate against minority groups, and I don’t think I could be accused of that. One of my primary caregivers from the age of six to eleven was a mixed race woman. She was my favourite person in the world in my formative years. How on earth could I be a racist? I was however well aware that I had benefited in socio-economic terms by being raised in a family with enough money for private education, holidays, healthy food, etc. I was also aware that my privilege was in part because of the colour of my skin. I understood that I, like everyone else, was a product of my postcode.
I started to dig deeper at university. I studied American history, literature, politics and media at Nottingham University, and spent some time at UCSB in California. I dedicated most of my time over those four years educating myself about systemic racism, learning about black culture and history and how it’s been distorted by the white mainstream, and investigating the lies told to us in history books and by the media, and the stories which they choose to ignore. I wrote my dissertation on the (media ignored) exploitation, rape and murder of Mexican girls and women on the US-Mexico border due to racism, imperialism, the war on drugs, militarised border control and political and economic slavery.
I remember an article that stirred something in me which was part of our required reading list at UCSB. It was titled : ‘I’m not a racist, but…’ It highlighted the many ways in which some white people try to hide their racist programming through language, though on closer inspection the program is obvious. This wasn’t really new to me : I’d witnessed people doing it throughout my life. But it struck me to see it analysed in an academic way and it made me more aware of my own speech and thoughts regarding race. Through my studies I became gravely aware that the system (financial-economic-political-social-media-military), favours rich white people (men in particular) and disproportionately enslaves people of colour. Through my personal observations of the world in which I lived, I saw how this impacted people’s beliefs and kept us separated based on race and class, though the mainstream rhetoric was that inequality and servitude were things of the past.
The blatant inequality in the world and the repeated injustices I’ve witnessed committed by people in power is one of the main reasons I’ve chosen to leave the system. OK, I haven’t left it entirely, as that is not a feasible option right now. But I do what I can to remove my energy from what I see as evil, corrupt and manipulative, designed to keep not just black people, but ALL people (bar the 1% who control the world), enslaved. ‘They’ own the banks and all major corporations, including the pharmaceutical and healthcare industries. They own the media. They patent our seeds and spray our food with carcinogenic chemicals. They, without a doubt, control the global political and military agendas. That small group of wealthy bloodline families owns 50% of the world’s wealth. This does not sit well with me. And so I’ve done what I can to remove myself from this tyrannical system and live in a different way.
I have a bank account, I buy certain essentials (and some non-essentials) from shops. But I do not vote and I do not pay taxes. Because I do not believe that the people in power have my (or your) best interests at heart. I do not support their wars against people of colour, in the Middle East and Africa in particular, waged to steal natural resources and gain power. I do not, and never have, followed The (mainstream) News because it’s full of twisted ‘facts’, blatant lies, and negativity, designed to separate us and indoctrinate us with FEAR. I could see that it was a tool to control us since I was a little girl.
I am walking a new path—an old one, in fact—more akin to the lives our tribal ancestors lived. I am living in nature. I am building a community. I am learning what it means to live in harmony with the Earth. It is certainly not all love and light. It’s a process of deconditioning my psyche, facing my shadows and healing the traumas of the past 2,000 years that I carry in my DNA. I acknowledge that this may not be a path available to everyone right now, and I know that my privilege helped to get me here. I also know that I am and always will use my privilege (my education, my knowledge, my skills, my experiences) to help others. By healing myself I know I am helping the whole.
I also know for sure that I cannot go back. I spent many years fully in the system. It sucked the life from me. I gave it my soul and I came away empty, depressed, and burnt out. I forgot who I was (a wild, human-being). I worked for money and lived for the weekends. After so many years of playing the game the way I’d been taught and it not working, I was ready to give up on life completely. I was lost and disillusioned. If this was all that life was for—work (for someone else’s benefit), sleep, eat, repeat—then I was done with it. My soul knew better. She led me to many countries around the world to explore, to seek meaning in life and to expand my consciousness. I discovered a whole new version of myself—a brighter, more vibrant being—than the person who’d spent years sitting in an office behind a computer screen. I vowed in 2013 never to go back to that. I felt like a slave.
In 2014, in the Indian Himalayas, I woke up. (Very ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, I know.) I was reborn. I saw magic in the world, multiple dimensions of reality, and the illusion of time. I witnessed the presence of non-physical entities, Gods, and spirits. I realised that I had been living in an illusion of third-dimensional, linear reality for 28 years, and that I was far more powerful than I’d been taught to believe. I began then my journey of healing and awakening, a process that continues now, every day. I am on a quest for truth and the universe keeps giving me more answers. I question everything about the nature of reality and the way the world works and I have discovered more and more ways in which the world is not as it seems. My greatest lesson so far on my spiritual journey is that this life is my responsibility. My task is to trust myself, know myself, and heal myself.
For the last seven years I have been on a journey of reclaiming my sovereignty : reclaiming my right to discern what is right and wrong for myself, reclaiming my innate powers to create my own reality, reclaiming my voice, reclaiming my health, reclaiming my sexuality. Everything that I once expected someone else to manage or to fix for me, I am now taking responsibility for, myself. To do this requires an immense amount of inner work. It requires dissecting and dissolving EVERYTHING that I was taught to be true, challenging ALL of my core beliefs, thought-patterns and behaviours, healing my past traumas, meeting my fears head-on, taking responsibility for my emotions, and remaining diligently awake in the present moment, all the time. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s the only way, I know, to live in a better world.
Now I know this is not what most people want the hear right now, but this is the truth : we ALL have this ability—to remember our true nature and to become the sovereign beings that we came here to be. Yes, we are all subject to different circumstances at birth. Some have an easier ride than others in this 3D realm from the get-go. But awakening is there for the taking for anyone (and pain is the most common doorway). The powers that we have inside transcend skin colour, gender and nationality (the illusion of separateness). We all come from one Source. We create our reality through our beliefs, thoughts and actions. We are POWERFUL SPIRITUAL BEINGS. That is the ultimate truth.
It’s just that we have forgotten. We have been lied to about our innate powers and innate goodness, and our incredible healing powers, and we have been divided, deliberately, for centuries, based on arbitrary outward characteristics. (No one was born a racist.) We have been told that we need other people to govern our decision-making, to ‘keep us safe’, and to make us ‘healthy’. And we have willingly complied. We have given our power away to psychopaths who are feeding on our souls. And I know from my own life experiences, that being in a state of victimhood, shame or guilt is the most fertile ground for dark energies to strike. Only when we—black, white, brown, all of us—reclaim our SOVEREIGNTY and stop giving our power away, expecting people in power to fix our problems—only then will we know peace, will we know real love, will we know what it is to be truly alive, in union with ourselves, nature, and each other.
When we jump on the bandwagon and react to the latest media trend, we give our power away.
What I see now happening in the world in regards to ‘Black Lives Matter’ makes me deeply uncomfortable. And it’s not because people are finally talking openly about racism. THIS is a good thing. It’s because these conversations should happen organically—not because the media tells us it’s time to have them, now. It’s because these conversations and this REACTION (mass protests, riots, blacked-out profiles on social media) is engineered to cause more fear and separation. Divide and Conquer. We are being played, yet again. And I foresee the result will be further control, further surveillance, further AI, further militarisation, further totalitarianism. It is happening right now : laws are being passed in the name of our safety which take away our basic human rights and freedoms. It’s not that the cause is not valid (although it’s only scratching the surface of the problem) ; it’s that the timing has been chosen by those in power to DISTRACT us from what is really going on. It is a program.
It happens time and time again. The media shows us something to rouse our emotions—anger and outrage, primarily—and we jump on it, without giving it a second thought. We are emotional beings and it’s natural that we feel empathy, anger, rage, fear, guilt, etc. These emotions in themselves are not bad. They are there to be felt. There is undoubtedly inner work to be done on the subject of race for all of us. But every time there is a media uproar that causes thousands of people to REact in the SAME way, regurgitating the SAME slogans, going to the SAME protests, something is amiss. We are being controlled. And we have been for thousands of years.
I think it’s great that some people are opening their eyes to the systemic and media programmed racism that has been clear, to me at least, for my whole life, and which has been going on for generations beforehand. Privilege and injustice deserve to be examined. Systemic and individual racism is a real issue. This is a program that runs deep in our cultures and societies and it needs to be healed. But not from a place of reaction ; from a place of conscious response. And everyone’s response will be different. We all have our unique roles to play.
I carried the shame and guilt of being a white privileged female for three decades, until quite recently, when I saw the game which was being played. I came to the realisation that shame and guilt gets you absolutely nowhere, in the long-term. They manifest as a hopeless state—about the lowest vibration you can be in—and it creates yet more separation (which is exactly what the powers that be want).
How can you look your black brother or sister in the eyes when you feel ashamed and guilty? How can you believe in equality when you look at people with a different skin colour to you as lesser / disempowered / unfree? When you put yourself in the shoes of the oppressor (‘this is my fault’) or the rescuer (‘let me save you’) you put the other in the shoes of the victim. (If you don’t know what I mean by this, google ‘the victim-perpetrator-rescuer drama triangle’.) It perpetuates a futile ego-driven cycle of interrelating. It perpetuates the illusion that we are separate.
There is a part of me that has been cheering on all the protestors—the rebel in me who has been waiting my whole life for a revolution—the part of my ego that loves a bit of drama and the part of me that empathises with anyone who’s experienced trauma, injustice and pain. But the more balanced and centred Me knows that this is not the way, for many reasons :
1) Because it’s been orchestrated.
2) Violence does not end violence. It fuels it, and will only be used against us (through more control and loss of freedoms).
3) Rage and excitement are adrenaline-fuelled states of consciousness that feel great in the moment. But then what? What happens when the protests are over (which they may be, by the time you read this)? Has anyone got an after-plan? Or is everyone caught up in the excitement of it all after months of being locked indoors (which, by the way, is another program designed to control, divide and conquer). Why now? If everyone cares so much about equal rights, why has it taken until now to do something about it?
4) The slogans of this campaign are all wrong. Do you see how utterly disempowering it is to get on the ground with your hands behind your back and chant ‘I cannot breathe’? That is literally programming your cells into a vibration of fear, disease and helplessness. And at a time when the collective consciousness is afraid of a respiratory virus? A far better mantra would be : ‘I am alive. I am powerful. I am a sovereign being!’
5) Black lives matter. Drug addicts lives matter. Homeless people’s lives matter. Refugees’ lives matter. Missing children’s lives matter. ALL LIVES MATTER. Yes I said it – the most controversial thing one can say at this time : The Truth. Protesting about one group’s lives because the media has told us to is not true unity. This is not true power. It is collective psychosis.
Furthermore, what I see now on social media is a cesspit of shaming and blaming. ‘You’re not wearing a mask. You want to kill the old people!’ ‘You’re going to a protest. You’re going to spread the virus!’ ‘You’re not going to a protest. You’re a racist!’ ‘You think all lives matter. You’re a white supremacist!’ It’s a disgrace. And it’s EXACTLY what they want : low vibrations—anger, fear and separation.
I don’t claim we should stop having conversations about racism. Please, let’s have them! I don’t deny that we all, including me, have blind spots and ways in which we could do better when it comes to interrelating with our fellow brothers and sisters of all colours and backgrounds. For bringing this difficult and necessary conversation into the public forum, I am grateful for the protests. I am using this time to deeply reflect and tune in to how I can heal more, love more, serve more. I’ve had many a challenging conversation with others and myself in the last few weeks. But I won’t just jump on the bandwagon and get swept away into a fury of rage or sink into a shame-fuelled despair because I’m told to.
There is a myth being propagated by the establishment-owned media and jumped on board by pretty much all the people I see on my newsfeed : if you’re not angry or you don’t feel guilty, you’re complicit. I wholeheartedly disagree. If you’re doing the work to heal your ancestral guilt (as a white person), or to heal your ancestral victimhood (as a person of colour)—if you no longer identify as a perpetrator, a victim or a saviour—because you KNOW you are not hurting or discriminating against anyone because of their skin colour or any other external ‘difference’, and/or you KNOW you are a not a victim ; you are a powerful being— you are just living your life. You are just doing you. And THAT IS OK. Can we end this blame game? Again, it’s exactly what they want : Divide and Conquer. White versus black. White versus white. Left versus Right. Rich versus poor. Etc. Etc.
Who are THEY, I hear you ask? What is REALLY going on?
I am sharing below the words of some informed and aware individuals, many of whom are black or mixed race, who are speaking the truth, as I see it, right now. If you want to understand a different perspective on current affairs to the mainstream, I invite you to look at these resources.
These are just some of the red flags that are evident to me about BLM :
I find it very convenient that just as the public were waking up to the truth about ‘covid-19’, with a number of countries denouncing the test for the virus as corrupted and the originally predicted ‘scientific’ stats proven to have been blown way out of proportion, the media jumps on a case which will guarantee to rouse public emotions, playing the video repeatedly on mainstream news (so I’m told) and going viral on social media—an incident which is by no means unique or new in its nature.
I also find it very convenient that this comes just in time to the run up to the US elections.
I also find it ‘interesting’ that Black Lives Matter is funded by George Soros, a shady billionaire known for supporting social engineering projects in the Middle East. Soros, along with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, also funds Agenda 21 and Agenda 2030. (Read Grace Van Berkum’s article below to understand why this is very bad for humanity.)
Black Lives Matter has also been infiltrated by Antifa, a left-wing extremist, terrorist organisation. Did you also know that the organisation is not a charity but a corporation? I wonder where all these donations following Floyd’s very-well-publicised death are being funnelled to. Not to the impoverished black community, as generous, empathic donors may hope, but to the US Democratic Party to support their election campaign.
In short, BLM has been hijacked by controlled opposition.
As Candace Owens on Instagram says : ‘It absolutely disgusts me that so many people are this easily brainwashed. You got people on the left and right acting like fools, falling for this absurd narrative that is DESIGNED to make us fight with one another. Never do these programmed bots pause and consider just WHY journalists obsessively cover race issues for a few months, and then magically disappear for 3 years until it’s time to start drumming it up again.
Black Lives Matter virtually VANISHED the day after Trump was elected. Now they are back in full-swing again, funded by the same white liberal billionaires.’
(Harsh, but true.)
See the video below with Nyota Uhura to understand how BLM is funded and run by white Democrats.
It’s so interesting. I was taught at school that the Democrats supported minorities and the Republicans were the white supremacists. Today I see through that charade. Both the left and the right are infiltrated and ultimately controlled by a far more powerful, underground elite, which interestingly, Trump is openly trying to expose. Now I am not claiming Trump is the messiah or a stand-up guy, I don’t know him. But I would rather have him round for dinner than Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, both of whom I can see by looking at their eyes are devious creatures.
I find it interesting too that the very same day of the ‘blackout’ on social media Hillary Clinton lost her appeal to block her deposition about using a private email server and deleting around 33,000 emails while working as Secretary of State under President Obama between 2009 and 2013. Since this case erupted in 2016 she has never been charged for her crimes, which according to many, are far more sinister than meet the eye. But you can research that more for yourself using the sources below as a good starting point.
I invite you to watch these videos, listen to the podcast, and read the articles below. And if you are triggered, I ask you please to take a few deep breaths before responding with attacking judgements directed at me. Perhaps also ask yourself : ‘if the author were a black person would I respond in the same way?’ (Racism works both ways.)
The situation we find ourselves in the world today is not a black and white issue, it’s way more nuanced and complex than that. It is a human issue about how we have been duped, tricked, lied to, and manipulated into fearing and hating each other. The elite has turned all of us into racists (knowingly or not) and kept us stuck in a paradigm of blame-shame-separate-divide. What we need now is true unity, not more separation, blaming and shaming.
I see this time of mass global awakening as an opportunity to look inside and ask ourselves difficult questions. It’s a time to be re-reading our history, understanding where we give our power away, and healing our ancestral trauma. We should be taking our energy away from politics and the mainstream media and nourishing ourselves and our own communities. I truly believe it’s the seemingly small steps that add up to big change—the changes that start within—not the big parades of ‘togetherness’ which demand that an external source fix the problem. The real awakening happens when we take personal responsibility for our lives and stop handing our power away to others. We have to question EVERYTHING and we have to speak our truth. Doing the inner work is the most important thing we can be doing right now.
We have been conditioned to believe that it is selfish to put oneself first. I believe this is a dangerous trap, and is not a universal truth. Our primary responsibility is to ourselves. It is only when we truly know and love ourselves (which requires healing) that can we make any kind of meaningful difference in the world. Only when we are centred and in balance, not driven by our emotions, can we see the bigger picture and make responsible choices. Being told that we MUST stand up for one group’s rights RIGHT NOW distracts us from the real healing work that happens within, and ripples out to our families and neighbours. And, it distracts us from the fact that we are all enslaved by this system, and if we don’t collectively wake up to the elite’s frightening plans for our future, things are going to get a LOT worse.
Resources – please read / listen to / watch at least some of these before commenting on my post. It will give you a much better perspective on where I am coming from.
Two brothers @archerlove and @pharaoh_aten 3-part IGTV discuss the Black Lives Matter movement, the deep state, and mind control :
A very wise and knowledgeable sister @auset_eyowaku talks at length about victimhood versus sovereignty, the programs of the system and the trap of the BLM protests. ‘Know when you’re being baited.’ :
Ben Ralston, a teacher I’ve followed for years sums up the bigger picture of power, control, and divisive programming : https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/06/your-protests-are-worse-than-useless/
A sister of colour @samanthamasonmarikaa talks about the trend / the trap of BLM and how putting a blacked-out profile picture on your social media does not make you woke :
Very interesting podcast on the Wetiko Mind Virus and how controlled opposition works against us :
Nyota Uhura Speaks on White Liberals Funding and Controlling #BLM. ‘Who funds you, controls you.’ :
The Hodge Twins explain the agenda behind Black Lives Matter and how it skews our perception of reality :
Grace Van Berkum points us directly to the hard evidence about the deep state’s intentions for a New World Order with single global currency and mandatory vaccinations and how Covid-19 was the long-planned catalyst for their agenda :
Kelly Brogan on Stockholm Syndrome, mind control and waking up :
Young Pharaoh, who’s Youtube videos keep getting censored, is a great brother to follow if you want more info on the deep state and corruption (what the mainstream won’t tell you / will tell you is BS) :
Ralph Smart, a spiritual teacher I’ve followed for years (and a black man) tells us ‘Don’t fall for it. It’s a set up’ :
Teal Swan, another (white) teacher (who’s personally experienced satanic ritual abuse) who I’ve trusted and followed for years, explains how we are being played (the black community in particular) like a game of chess :
The truth will set us free.