Why I am writing this?
I suppose anyone writing a blog may question why they are doing it. Indeed those reading it will probably question the blogger’s intentions at some stage or another. I’ll be clear about mine. I have returned to this practice for the primary reason that I need a space to ‘speak my truth’. Having taken some time out recently (on a yoga retreat) to focus on myself – which was the first time I have truly focused on myself in… well, maybe ever – I have realised something very important, which I believe to be a key factor in why I have been so unhappy recently. I stopped being honest about who I am, both externally and internally. I stopped following my intuition, instead always looking to others for the answers to my problems and approval of my decisions. I stopped trusting myself to speak my mind and have faith in my own convictions. And hence, I lost my sense of who I am.
If I do one thing right going forward from this point of realisation (which must be the first step), it will be to try and learn to trust myself and my own intuition again. So why write this blog? Well I have always been better at expressing myself in writing, and I feel that if I can put these thoughts down on ‘paper’, and broadcast them in some way , opening myself inevitably for others to ‘hear’, then that is the first step in the process of learning to speak my truth. Everything I write here will be honest, and as much as my ego and fear of judgement will allow, it will be candid. I hope that from this practice of sharing my views with others who choose to read them, I will find it easier to make this a practice in my daily life. I hope from this it will give me the confidence to speak my feelings openly to those closer to me, as those are often the ones with whom speaking honesty is the most challenging. Ultimately though I hope I learn to be honest with myself.
You may be thinking this all sounds a bit self-indulgent, and wondering if this a blog about healing products and treatments, or a glorified journal? Well, it was a blog about healing products and treatments, and I believe it will be again – perhaps soon. But right now, at this point in my journey, what I need to focus on is myself and getting myself back to who I really am. Only then will I be able to meaningfully advise anyone reading this on approaches to their own wellbeing. If in the meantime, if you still fancy reading, then that is just a bonus! As although sharing ones true feelings with others is very hard, it is also very rewarding.